Pizza Etc
2026-05-02T00:21:35.067Z
14/10 (I’ve lost the ability to count normally)I walked in a mere mortal and left as a structural hazard. We ordered two pies—one for 'sustenance' and one because we have zero self-respect.The crust was so crisp it sounded like a dry branch snapping in a horror movie, but instead of a ghost, the jump scare was just how fast I could inhale 1,000 calories. This wasn't just food; it was an emotional intervention. I’m fairly certain the mozzarella was harvested from a cloud in flavor heaven.Halfway through the second pie, my wife and I stopped talking entirely. We just communicated through series of appreciative grunts and frantic eye contact. My jeans are currently holding a grudge against me, and I’ve reached a level of 'garlic sweat' that has made me legally radioactive, but I regret nothing.If this pizza were a person, I’d leave my family for it. If you value your soul (and your cholesterol), get here immediately.